What about the Children?

Noni

Carter and I touched down in LA last Saturday and checked into the W. We were in town for the BET awards and all of the Black foolishness that it entailed. It was my first awards show, so I have to admit, I was excited to be apart of the Black Glitterati. Carter was over it before we even got there. Nonetheless, he had to show his face. He's a jazz musician but his fortune really comes from his work as a producer. We were both so tired upon arrival that we crashed on Saturday night. Sunday, we did the red carpet thing. The red carpet, at the BET awards, I quickly learned, is all about showing up to show out….and I was so ready. I wore the peek-a-boo Black dress that drives Carter crazy. The awards show was long and wore on my short attention span. I was also a little ticked at the missed attempt at creating a proper tribute to MJ. BET... really? The O'Jays for me were the high light. After it was over, we headed to the official after party. It was funny. The place was teaming with groupies, amateur and professional, who'd clearly spent two months rent securing orchestra seats and a designer dress just for the chance to seduce.... correction... sleep with a celebrity. They were all seeking what I... have. But of course, the secret is not in the punnany.

We took separate flights home. He went to visit his little girl in Philly and I flew back to JFK feeling empty. I filled that Monday with spa treatments and Tuesday with retail therapy on his account. It was the best I could do to temporarily ignore the fact that Carter was off with his second family, whom he apparently doesn’t feel secure enough to bring around me yet. In actuality, love kids, but I’m scared I won’t know how to act when I meet McKayla, that’s her name. I want her to see me as a fabulous big sister but really but to her I’ll likely be that heifer that’s sleeping with her daddy. Argh.

Fast forward to the good part. Carter comes home Wednesday night. We haven’t had sex in a good week and I’m feeling horny as hell. I welcome Carter to Merlot and Sushi (take out) and then we have one of our royal sexcapades…. A twelve pack of condoms on the night stand, right next to the KY and massage oil. Incense burning, candles and his locks in my face… all night… all morning… all afternoon, into the next night. Close to 24 hours we stayed cocooned in the bedroom, only breaking to eat, get water and use the bathroom. It was the perfect way to reconnect.

The next day, I contract a UTI. I tell Carter about it and we both assume that we just went way too hard. We’ll have to slow our roll over the next week. The following evening while Carter is tapping out a composition, I decide to take a hot bath before retiring to bad. I soaked for a good twenty minutes, dried off. Then I pulled back the comforter and sat on the bed applying lotion. As I carry the lotion back to the bathroom, I get this weird sensation between my legs. I stop walking and look down at something hanging out. Lord have mercy…. I pull. It is a soggy condom that has been lodged in my damn cervix since I don't know when. 

I call Carter into the bathroom demanding an explanation. “Baby, I have no idea….” He’s smiling at the sight of the stretched out condom but ain’t shit funny. I could be pregnant. I mean, I'm not on any form of birth control except.... latex-latex-latex!!! Clearly he and I were so doped up on love and alcohol that we could have overlooked an umm... missing condom. I send him to CVS for Plan B. I've never taken it before and it's given me a killer headache, but I realized as panic overtook my entire body... I am not ready to be anybody's mother right now. Not even if my sable Clarke Kent is my baby's daddy. Clearly, I have some growing up to do.

Kisses,

Noni